mIxTuRe oF fEeLiNg....
ok..to continue from the previous post,they were arguing about a basketball short..the guy want it like a couple wear but the girl don't want...while they were arguing i decided to choose one basketball short for dear...9actually got no much mood to tell de but don't want people misunderstand them..thinking in a wrong way)already got people asking...
"thousand of questions rushing through my mind...
am i right or am i wrong...
mistake is commonly made..
as no one is a saint..
but every mistake there is a price to pay..
only depend whether is it big or small..
once i asked myself..
did i made a decision that will affect my future..
To my surprise..
i don't know the decision i made have any future..
advises,opinions and comments surround us almost everyday..
for me that's the case..
telling me what's right,what's wrong..
what i should do..what i should not do..
what i can do is smiled and walk away..
sit down at aside and let my mind and heart come together..
i can't force myself to do what i can't convince my heart to follow..
i believe that there's nothing for sure..
promises can be broken,words can be taken back..
is the promises the person give is strong enough to hold a future..
which is a unknown if there is,it is very rare..
people might laugh or scold me behind my back..
there's a hole infront of you but you insist on walking to it..
to people it might be a hole,a disaster..
but to me,it might be a place that for a heart to settle..
why must your life depend on other's people words..
if is your happiness..
true friend will accept and happy for you..
only you know what's your happiness is..
different people have different thinking..
want to satisfy everyone,is impossible..
your decision might affect someone you loved..
don't hurt them by your indecisive..
your duty is your heart..
god have given each of us a heart..
fulfil it by listening to your heart..
the key to your heart is within you..."
erm..trying to figure out this poem...use your heart to feel it... :-) don't ask me who wrote this.. my role is to read..yours also..to you,is it important who wrote it??anyway as long as it make sense to you that's it right..
sLeEpY.....n wU LiAo dE wO.....
everyday after school duno go where..~sianz~..probably will go home sleep ba as the rest of the bombers is either meet bf or meet gf lor..haha..BUT today WENDY WUN WEI XIAN wanted me to acccampany take driving test(what test u dun ask me,cos i dun rmbr the name..is BTT or what de)she say maybe i am her lucky star..she have took the test for around 5 times... everytime is jie(her bf) accompany her go so this time drag me along..maybe can change her luck(c blame on her bf..didn really study say didn really study..don't find excuse..haha..jus kidding) GUESS WHAT??she FAIL again..(-_-")it doesn't prove that i'm not her lucky star lor..she still say i'm her lucky star..know why??she say last time jie accompany her she got 37..now i accompany her she got....41..c i'm lucky...haha..actually no such thing de la..is because of ur effort..is not because of me..how can it be possible because of me??go out with them also a bit stress..suddenly like WAR...Xian dulan...jie,the more he talk,the more she dulan...argue argue..wanna let them settle themselve ended up the fire gets bigger..then is time for my role to come..haha..fire extinguisher...try to put out the fire..buy things also can quarrel..talking also can..after that i'm so tired,i fall asleep in train..half dead..i thought girls don't have to go for war..haha..*NOTICE TO BOMBER--never never go out with this couple alone...very very tiring..is advisable to have 2 or more people to be with you..(Wendy wun..jus kidding la..haha) ok,overall the outing is ok la..beside of those thing i have mention earlier..the rest should be ok.. meeting my mum at tiong bahru plaza..they also went there...then they having hard time to chase my mum to say bye bye as my mum walking very fast and they are walking too slow..haha...oh..still have one more..we bought something...i bought one too...hehe....they have a argument when buying that "thing"....the conversation is like that..
~the girl(xian) say :"i don't want"
~the guy(jie) say: "But i want.."
~the girl(xian) say: "if u want,u buy for yourself..I don't want!!"
~the guy(jie) say: "this type of thing must also have you ma..i alone no meaning..."
*the victim(that's me!) stand in the middle..don't know what to say....so i decided to.......
continue next post..this post a bit too long liao..wanna know what "thing" they are arguing?c my mood next time ba..haha...bye bye..i told u i very wu liao le..so will do a bit wu liao things...
Sentosa trip.....
from the morning 7 am onwards i was very busy...cooking the lunch for them....is really quite tiring...BUT something happened later on....
when i was briefing the rest of the BODs about the games...i saw someone very familiar walking with jen they all..IS DEAR!!haha..he trying to hide but he is so tall,from far i can see him..i'm really really surprised to see him at that time..i'm very happy too..i really didn't expect him to come..as i asked him 3 times,he said he won't be able to make it..it really never cross my mind that he will turn up..cause i know he's busy with cheerleading..
Of course personally i'm very happy,he also helped out in the bonding alot..i really don't have much experience about this, the rest of BODs also..so a bit messy...he helped us to gather everyone..get things started..of course the rest of the BODs did a great job too...help out in whatever way they can..but i'm a bit disappointed of some of the interacters...they keep running away from the activities...called them countless times...they went some where else without informing anyone..refuse to play games..haiz..nothing i can do..no use forcing or what..i just ignore them if they don't want to be part of us..
Then after that,dear,me,xian,jie,shaley and a group of malay girls went to harbourfront centre eat our dinner and do some shopping..but the malay girls left after dinner..today also wei and jie 11 months anniversary..but seem like have alot of "light bulbs" hanging around them...haha.. sorry ar,wei..
After the sentosa trip is really very tired..actually dear did u realised something..this is the first time u accompany me the whole day?maybe that explain why i'm so happy..i know you are very busy that's why can't keep meeting me..but today i really appreciate the effort you made..spend the whole day with me..i know you skip your things to come..i really appreciate it..thanks for making my day!!love you....
Below is a test result i do..brain test..haha..maybe this can explain a bit why my maths is so bad and reason why sometime my things are quite messy..haha..
"The Right Hemisphere of your brain is dominant over the Left! "
Most right-brained people like you are flexible in many realms of their lives. Whether picking up on the nuances of musical concerto, appreciating the subtle details in a work of art, or seeing the world from a different perspective, right-brained people are creative, imaginative, and attuned to their surroundings. People probably see your thinking process as boundless, and that might translate to your physical surroundings as well. Some people think of you as messier than others. It's not that you're disorganised, it's just that you might use different systems to organise (by theme, by subject, by colour). Straight alphabetisation and rigidly ordered folders are not typical of right-brained behaviour.
AND!!i want to share this song with you guys..i love this song when i first heard it..it was months ago...i like the song lyric..the song lyric don't apply to me now ok..don't think what happen to me and my boyfriend.. we are ok..just concentrate in the song..mind no need run wild..haha..
“Because Of You"
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
dying.....
Oh my god..my stomach cramp..now in sch...no idea how to go back home..still have meeting after sch...my back ache,stomach cramp...sobz..having lesson now..finishing in half an hour time.. i really need someone to help me this time....i'm too weak liao................i hate stomach cramp...
Argh......!!!!!
i'm so irritated now..just now almost finish updating my blog then my sister came in and accidentally switch off my computer..everything gone...AH................
Few weeks ago,alot of things happened..but is over...thanks god..but others things coming...camp.. bonding..after the training camp i have been sick til now..flu...headache..giddy..but no matter what must wait till the sat interact bonding over..the BOD say i must not fall sick before the bonding..haha..i'll try..but really not feeling well this few days..
this sat,interact bonding,i'm in charge of the food for BOD and the bomber squad..haha..a group of white mouses ...don't worry i do have some cooking skill...won't kill...is edible..my family tried before..i tried before too..still alive and kicking..so 100% safe...haha..but after that what wll happen..who knows..haha..just kidding...
yesterday 20 june is dear and me 4th anniversary...hehe...love u lots...i'm v happy that to have u by my side...hope that there will be many many many more months...always together...love u..miss u..muacks!!
ok..this sick person is going to rest..will continue next time when she feeling better..haha.. take care everyone!!!
hEaRt bRoKeN.......
silent is golden...i think i must learn try to be silent...trying best to help someone who i consider as best friend ended up just get her cold words and saying us not understanding her,not accepting her...i always thought if we notice any thing wrong of a friend we should tell them and help them change..i have put in alot of effort to help..even if i was like acting like a bad guy,i don't mind..But what happened in the end?My effort is not even appreciate and end up with a name of "not understanding"..our names are deleted from her blog...when we know about how sad we are..our friendship is so fragile...just a small thing like that can change so much...i just over estimate everything..over estimate myself...our friendship..our understanding...is just of my one sided thinking...now you also teach me something silent is golden...i should be silent in the beginning..keep myself out of everything...then nothing will have happened..i always thought that friends should always help each other..try all your best to help..this time round is really a disappointing one..ya,your primary and secondary school friend all stood by you and accept who you are.. Didn't we?When things happened did we just stand at the side and watch?didn't we worried for you?put all our brain together to think of a solution for you?We have say you about your temper all that because is something bad and have to change..We cannot say we must accept friend everything..A good friend should point out the bad and help them change....maybe my thinking is wrong...and you always said i'm simple minded... think things in a simple form is better than in a complicated one..simple make your life easier and happier isn't it...we only live once,why must make it a difficult one..trying to make all of us as one..i,alone,can't do it..only the 6 of us can make it happen...am i too naive to think that if you treat someone sincerely they will feel it..and appreciate it?trying to be understanding is it right or wrong..showing tolerance is a wrong act?someone correct me if i'm wrong please...!!!you said i have high tolerance..but it will used up one day...but now is not about tolerance le..most importently,i'm very disappointed..if i'm making effort,i just hope that people will appreciate that..
a BuSy wEEk........
last fri,i hv the meeting wif the BODs to discuss abt the bonding things on 24 june..haiz..trying to get people to go so we make it as compulsory...den sat is kat birthday..6 couple gather again..i'm quite happy..i think the one most enjoy is the guys ba..haha..playing bball together..after that things don't really goes well la..but i hope everyone won't keep it in the heart..don't put hatred in you..since is over,just let it go..there are people that experience the same thing as you..just that we didn't say and want to forget about it...keep remembering it don't do you any good lor..let us speak for ourselves,don't speak for us..as what you think maybe wrong..after all that your thinking..and like i always said don't put words in our mouths..we haven't utter a word yet..we are not blaming you..and we also don't blame you..what is over we also don't want to talk about it..but whatever you said please think thrice..you might hurt someone unintentionally.. think for the person feeling..u sit down and think about it..who have you cause stress to..we don't be too selfish just think for ourselves..as what we did will affect others too..especially those who are close to you..what you said have affected her one way or another...
This week will be a bit busy for me as i got a training camp..2 days 1 night..sianz..don't feel like going at all but don't have much choices..AHH.........sobz...
on kat bdae i'm very happy too as i get to see dear...haha...miss him..
miss you always....muacks..bb..
wE pUt FeAr iN uS...
Is over...finally over...our ENT presentation...on that day,even jas was scared..i was quite puzzled,why is she scare when she do it so many times and she have the whole squad with her... then slowly..i realised the whole squad was nervous...haha..except me..i'm the abnormal one..i think is because i'm so tired and sleepy on that day,i can't feel a thing..just wanna finish it once and for all...but i notice something..a guy from other group like to shoot questions to groups with only girls..Well..i was kind of expect him to shoot us questions....and he really did...if you were there,you can see my group is nervous..jas,jen,xian..kat a bit..the 3 of them is the obvious one..when we went back to our seat then he start asking..he ask the 1st question then jen answer it straight away just to shut him up..BUT...she gave the wrong answer which make him have a chance to shoot us back..haha..but never mind..i having the feeling like "what does he want?" ..i turned round and look at him and answer the question...i think i kind of shock him or what..he was like taken back..did i sound harsh or what..i don't know..but next thing i know,the class is laughing..even the teacher...there was like alot of question marks on top of my head..did i miss out something...jas said i sound a bit fierce..i didn't mean to show that..maybe because i'm too tired..just want to end it but this fellow like never ending..at last he shut his mouth up.. haha..
tomorrow,there's still have interact thing and during evening time will have kathryn birthday bbq...!!!update next itme...
Game is dangerous...
Based on my experience and my friend experience...DOTA(game) is proven to make a guy to forget their girlfriend(name,suname..etc)haha...why i said so...erm...yesterday i was talking to dear on phone,he was playing dota...when i talk to him,he will take some time to reply me..so i try testing him..i asked him..what is my surname..haha...guess what he said..LEE...so from this i can see,when a guy playing game..he cannot really forget alot of thing..haha...after he play the game den things back to normal again,is ok..haha..can also heard him scolding and scolding.. this is what he do when playing game..a bit like little kid..haha..but i like it..quite cute..as long as he dun totally forget about me can liao..haha..think he won't..:-p
Today our sch conduct a blood donation drive..haha..rather scary..cos u see the needle all that..oh my god...is so disgusting..i dun dare to donate..even though i want..i'm too scare of pain le..from young i'm scare of injection..until now still cannot conquer the fear..so too bad..-_- Today meet shu ting..going around shopping..so long didn shop wif her le..we miss her alot too.. even though she not in the same sch as us anymore,nothing have change..we still crap alot..play.. haha..doing all those lame things..she say she misses us alot..we miss her alot too..always feeling something missing...haiz..but is for her future..even thiugh we can't always see her,our friendship won't change...when she need us,we still will be there...TING!!must rmbr that..dun cry alone..we will be right beside u..:-)when i see u cry today,i feel like crying too..haha..u keep saying is i cause u to cry..i didn lor..i talk half way den u started crying...u see..when u cry infront of us..we will be sad with u..but in the same time,we will make you smile agian..thanks for ur chocolate..is very nice..cya on kat bdae..6 couples will gather again..!!!!muack..love ya..
Have to be strong.....
i'm a zombie today...really..only sleep for 3 hrs,den went to sch still have s&w..running and playing basketball..still lost to wendy...-_-...wendy wun..you very bad lor..dun wanna take shi min..ask u pair up with her you dun wan...say she wun move..so i pair up with her..u know she was looking at u...when you hinting me..so i faster say i pair with her n u with gina...i'll win u again de..haha...that stupid jen only neo how to stand there and say this and that..can't even rmbr our score..haiz..still say next time we play wanna join us too..go there sun-tanning ar..i'm really very sleepy,wanted to sleep but i can't..i can't..i can't!!!!sobz...dun ask me why..why i sleep only 3 hrs?? waiting and waiting lor...haiz...my brain is half dead...the whole person is half dead...with so little sleep,the project things make my head big...felt that i'm quite useless sia...
~~message to bomber squad~~
friends..there will be always disagreement...most importantly is that we must sit down and talk to each other calmly...who didn't do anything..who didn't give ideas..all that..we can talk..i dun want because of this to start any quarrel..we depend on each other de..u all always say won't quarrel la..u dun just say,,ur temper is not good...don't know when out of control thing..if anyone feel that the responsibilities she holding is too much to handle..we can talk...ok?i don't want that at the surface is ok but in the heart you all don't feel right...dun becos of a module den things change..we are good friends..so everything can talk out...ok..?^_^i'm a computer dumb so i can't help much in power point all that...but i'll try my best to help in other area like hand on de..
As for dear..one sentence...I MISS YOU ALOT... two weeks didn't see u le...hope to see you soon...^_^
